Monday, September 10, 2007

A Bad Feeling

Sometimes I wonder what feels worse , Is it pain? , is it depression? , is it emptiness ?, Or is it just not knowing how you feel , I wondered a lot but what I've figured is that all of those effect you and make you a different person they change the way you feel dramatically and it effects your personality, but then I figured It will effect you only if you let it get under your skin.
For example PAIN is in fact a nervous impulse, in other words pain is something your brain has absolute control over , and that's how some people walk on fire or lie on nails it's just because they have a much higher control ( I wouldn't say absolute ) over that part of their brain than most of us do .
Long story short : You can control pain by concentrating (YOGA for example) or just letting go.
the good stuff ends here the rest is just me bitching.
I've been feeling really crappy in the last few days and the reason for that is just not knowing how I feel , who I am or what will I become , will I die today , or will I live till I'm 80 , I think I'm feeling this crappy because I'm feeling that as long as I'm living in Iraq none of my dreams will happen (I wouldn't own a lambo Gallardo or own a villa or even go out to the street and feel safe) there is just too much violence and I'm quoting Evanescence " these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just to real there's just too much the time cannot erase"
There is just so much going on in my head I can't even think straight I feel that my brain is dealing with issues no human brain can handle -not just mine- ( Girls , School , Security, friends future , money) and nothing seems to get any better ,if i could solve some of these problems I would be able to concentrate a bit but still nothing seems to work , what I'm hoping is that all this pressure will end next June or July when I'm done with high school ( hopefully I'll get more than 96% ) in the finals - In Iraq the finals decide everything so you take one exam and your whole life depends on it (no pressure huh)- in order for me to get to med school or ..............

3 comments:

kimberly said...

so june has come and gone, how did you do on your exams? and how is med school looking? if you could pull off an a+ with all that you have on your plate and mind and heart, then even i am so proud of you, and i don't even know you :)

ghost said...

Thank You Kimberly, and I did pull off a+, I got a 97.1 and I'm in Baghdad Med. school and I'm quite happy with the way everything turned out.

iraqzone said...

Very nice blog brother! :)

don't forget to join the iraqi social community on:

www.iraqzone.com


Thank you
Shakrun warda!